Finding Purpose After Loss: My Journey to Namibia

I suppose this is the first question some may ask, especially those who had no idea I was here in Namibia. Well, it comes down to my existential crisis after the loss of "my one and only" Philip on March 9, 2020.

Philip at his best with a pencil behind his ear - always thinking and planning ahead!

While the world slowly ground to a halt and shuttered its doors, our family grieved the loss of husband, dad, brother, and uncle. I still feel the pit in my stomach when I think of that week, month, and year.

Indeed, my heart truly goes out to anyone who lost a loved one in 2020 or at any point during the pandemic. It was a time when we needed each other the most, and we simply were left to process our loss via Zoom and hugs from loved ones who weren't afraid to pass or catch the dreadful C-word.

Those of us who experienced the loss of a loved one had to muddle through grief without funerals, hugs, or visits, as the world tried to figure out how to "pivot" to an alternative way of going about their business.

Philip passed away while holding my hand (and mine holding his) in a hospital bed set up in our living room. With that picture branded in my head, I knew that it was necessary to move out of that two-bedroom condo.

After that six months in the condo, I bought a "fixer-upper" in Roxborough and moved in August 2020. So glad I took advantage of "covid housing prices!" A complete renovation was necessary, and the work began on the very first day by sledgehammering the kitchen, pulling off dingy wall paneling, and making plans that turned into a four-year project!

A quick word of gratitude to EVERYONE who helped with the renovation, but most especially Bill and Charlotte Strande and, of course, Rebekah, Erik, and Kahri. They were the powerhouses behind pouring cement, installing lighting fixtures and kitchen hoods, cheering us on, and so much more!

Shout out and thanks also to Kimberly, Mark, and Fran for all your help at the beginning and throughout. I would not have been able to leave when I did if it wasn't for their time, energy, and willingness to lend a hand when I really had no idea what I was doing.

Plus, Philip's tools were used every step of the way.

What can I say except that we all were thankful for the chance to carry on his love for construction with each nail and 2x4 using his Milwaukee power tools!

So here's to 2020—the year that sparked the first step to live in God's generous and loving light and to keep on moving forward through life wherever it may take us...